"Surviving in Seattle" part 2

School is another subject and so far it has occupied almost my every moment. That’s why I titled this ‘Surviving’ in Seattle. I’ve found out from other peers that the load I have (2 history classes, German language, a ‘how to teach history’ course and a Teaching Assistantship) is a LOT, esp. for an incoming graduate student. The Univ. of Washington uses the ‘quarter system’ vs. the more typical ‘semester system,’ which means that you take fewer subjects but for a very intensely concentrated, shorter length of time—11 weeks. So, we have 3 quarters during the school year and then there’s an optional summer quarter. My favorite course so far is German, which I take M-F for 50 minutes each morning. In general I like languages and I esp. like the relaxed atmosphere that our teacher (also an American who lived abroad) sets as well as the chance to start the day every day with a familiar group of people. Plus, I get to practice speaking pigeon German with my former student from Germany, Maike, via Skype! Ultimately I will only need to know German enough to read German texts about Czechoslovak history, doesn’t that sound interesting?!

The workload IS intense, though. At the end of each week I’m not sure which pile is bigger—the pile of books/articles I actually read or the pile of texts I didn’t read but should have! Teaching 45 undergraduate university students takes a TON of time. I teach 2 groups of about 25 students each on Fridays for one hour each group. I’m 1 of 4 TA’s for this class of 180 students taking “American History since 1940”. I attend the lectures the main professor gives twice a week, do the readings he’s assigned for the students, hold my own ‘office hours’ (I share a narrow, rectangular-shaped office with a 70s-orange-painted wall with 2 other TA’s on the first floor of the history building!), grade student work and then lead the students on Fridays. My job in teaching is to impart skills necessary for students to take a ‘hands on’ approach to history where we critically observe and analyze original speeches (like FDR’s first inaugural address, JFK’s speech on civil rights), articles (like part of Betty Friedan’s Feminine Mystique, or Steinbeck’s article on the ‘Hoovervilles’ of California during the Great Depression) and books such as a Cold War analysis book the students wrote book reviews on.

I’m realizing just how much more time is required to teach—that is, to stand up and direct a class of 18-21 year olds in a thoughtful-yet-interesting analysis of the week’s readings—than to merely be a graduate student who can absorb information and research his own field, or even a ‘grader’ who is a grad. student responsible for only grading students’ work. It takes preparation to ‘perform’ in front of a group, even for an hour! But the good things are that I already get to experience working with university-level American students, something I’ve never done before.

My ultimate goal in undertaking this terribly Herculean task of getting a PhD is to interact with university students. I chose to work with university students because they are presumably motivated to learn, going to be contributing members of society, and present fewer behavioral problems in the classroom than do secondary students (at least some American secondary students!). So, this teaching assistantship is a great opportunity to already get my feet wet in teaching at the university level. It also gets me into the mainstream of the history graduate department where I’m exposed to professors and other TA graduate students in a more direct way than if I wasn’t a TA. It’s also great practice for someday having to do things like prepare lessons and grade student papers. … If these positives sound a bit canned it’s because they ARE and I have to constantly repeat them to myself-- esp. like the other night when it’s 1:30am, I’m having to re-average all grades because I graded too harshly, and I’m lamenting the day I received this ‘honorable position’ of being a TA!!!

It really reminds me of my first days teaching at Srobarka Gymnazium in Kosice where everything took so much time—lesson planning, writing tests, grading them, etc. I know it will get easier but right now it’s all-consuming. I CAN tell you, however, that the BEST part of the week is on Friday after teaching, after the stupid ‘how to teach history’ course, when all the TAs go to strip known as ‘the Ave’ next to campus for a beer! There at a random ‘pub’ we are joined by ranks of other UW history graduate students at various stages of their grad. careers (some have been here for 7+ years!) and we discuss, well, history.

Anyways, beginnings (be they on either side of the Atlantic) are tough and force me on my knees in a very acute sense of dependence on the same God who has carried me all around the world. I constantly fluctuate in my brain between an inflated sense of my abilities (which is actually a RARE feeling for me) and (what happens mostly) berating myself for not being smarter or more original and comparing myself with grad student peers. This causes me to seriously question whether I should be here. Somehow, thankfully, I actually DO have some deeper sense that this IS the right fit for me, at least for now. That could change tomorrow! I’ll keep you posted.

Much love and auf Wiedersehen!

Marty